Friendship From An Outsider's View

I ran across this piece of writing last week, and wanted to share it with you, as it states so beautifully the way many in our situation feel. This was written by someone who is still in their first year on the field, so they are still feeling the sting of such a move and change. Although we've worked through most of the following, we still feel like outsiders a lot of the time. (I've put in some minor edits to make it more suitable for this forum.)


We miss our friends & family back home. We've often asked so many to pray that the children would make new friends. But over the past 20 months, our perspective on friendship has changed. When living in America friends were chosen by convenience, proximity & affinity. Not so, here.

The dictionary gives several definitions of friendship. The first fits what we knew in
the States: attached by affection or esteem. The second has become a reality: of the same
nation (or language) or group. Now that we are the minority, we have found an immediate,
common bond with our fellow field workers & others who've chosen to live here. The interdependency that exists has become the basis of friendship. We need each other - for practical, emotional & spiritual support. The pool from which we can fish is very small. And
perhaps this is a good thing…

Here, we cannot take any relationship for granted, or avoid those whom it is "harder
to love". This has given us a new perspective on what Christ said about not showing
partiality. Yes, He had His inner circle, His discipleship circle, & a larger sphere of
influence beyond that. But our Lord loved them all because they are His creation. In a
similar manner, we are learning to observe God’s workmanship in others & expand our
view of what friendships can be.

Our friendships with (locals) are quite difficult to explain. There are those who you think
might just be using you, those who you’re pretty sure are using you, those who you hope wouldn’t ever use you, and those who you’re confident would never use you… We have acquaintances that always seem suspicious, those that always want something when they visit, those that never visit (but are offended if you don’t visit them), and those who you wish would visit, but they’re too busy serving others, so they can’t. Thus, we’ve found it much more difficult (don’t forget the language & culture barriers) to ‘know where we stand’ with (our local) friends.
(The kids) are also feeling this tension as they ‘miss their friends in the States’ (not understanding that most of their friends in the states have moved on & aren’t missing them). They have this notion that if they could just ‘go home’, things would just go back to being the way they were before. They’re making some ‘good’ local friends, but they can’t communicate their feelings & they’re always exhausted after having spoken in (the local language) for several hours. The local kids (don't have much in common with us), and the kids need someone their age to share their hearts with. We all have much to learn about how friendship looks when you’re the foreigner in the minority!

Prov. 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times & a brother is born for adversity”. Our family desires to cultivate deep relationships with our local friends that will withstand
adversity. . . .


SteppeSister writing again:

This is our deepest desire too for our last bit of time here "on the Steppe".

Until Next Time~

SteppeSister